


in winter i'll hold u in a cold place

by ilovesuffering



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Boys Kissing, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, I just needed fluff, Light Angst, M/M, That's it, based on this recent vlive, he's not tho, soobin looks oblivious, they're rly qt, yeonbin are dorks in love, yeonjun is a mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:46:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24011524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilovesuffering/pseuds/ilovesuffering
Summary: Yeonjun wasn't the type to be insecure about anything, really.OrWhen Yeonjun realizes that his fat crush on Choi Soobin is starting to /really/ trouble him as the younger throws himself onto the blonde every time he possibly can.
Relationships: Choi Soobin/Choi Yeonjun
Comments: 11
Kudos: 320





	in winter i'll hold u in a cold place

Yeonjun wasn't the type to be insecure about anything, really.

In fact, what characterized him was his strong will. It impulses him to be better. To _be_ _the_ _best_. Being perfectionist had always carried along a series of extra responsibilities he made sure he complied in order to be at ease with himself. It came to a point where at times he could be painfully hard on himself, but he knew it was for his own good. He needed to be harsh. After all, he loves taking the lead and having everything under control, not being a fan of uncertainty. And he was doing fine.

Was. Until _him_.

It's funny, Yeonjun thinks. He spent so many years building himself, getting to know who Choi Yeonjun truly was. He spent sleepless nights wondering and eventually met some dark sides of his persona he wasn't sure he could face without breaking down. It was always worth it, though. He worked hard on himself, and now he can proudly say he likes what he sees, both inside and out. However, at that precise moment, he couldn't seem to understand himself nor why he felt so helpless whenever he was around Soobin. He had friends, he had always been popular. He loved his other members, but he always knew how to keep his walls up, scared that people would know too much about him for his own seek. Ever since he was little opening up to people had been a nightmare to Yeonjun: his mind didn't really let him completely trust anyone.

So how did Soobin make it seem so easy? Why could he stare at Yeonjun and know what the older was feeling? Why did he feel like an open book under the taller's gaze? Why did he feel like running away and hide from anyone, defenseless at the sudden exposed state but instead glued himself more to the boy? Since when had him turned into his unconditional emotional support?

But most importantly: why him?

Yeonjun thinks it's funny; Soobin always had love for everyone. He's an old, caring soul that finds ease at making others feel welcome. He makes sure that you feel safe, that you _trust_ him. He would stare at you with his big puffy eyes while he willingly listens to your worries. And even if you feel like they are the slightest and dumbest, like they're worthless to listen to, he carefully _does so_ anyways without blinking an eye, nodding from time to time and finally, offering you a genuine smile. And suddenly, the heavy weight over your shoulders dissipates and you feel understood. Because Soobin really understands. He _cares._

Soobin was too good to be true. With the warmest look on his face and sweet yet thoughtful words on his tongue. He was cute, he was endearing, but mostly he was reliable.

Yeonjun thinks it's funny, because he should've seen it coming.

Of course he would end up heels over Choi Soobin.

Yeonjun wasn't dumb: he knew how he felt towards the boy. 

That didn't necessarily mean he actually knew how to handle his own feelings.

Most times it was easy, blonde boy already used to make up an act in front of everyone. Even so, he felt safe yet scared on screen time: being recorded meant he had an excuse to be touchy, to be affectionate and clingy and disgustingly cheesy towards the younger. He was grateful that people would take it as fanservice and staged. An act. But what if the camera caught the warmth in his eyes? What if it noticed the wrinkles in his eyes, pupils drowned in adoration looking at Soobin when he was distracted? What if a camera was pointing at him and he couldn't put on his mask just in time? What would people think if they take a hint on the way he catches his air in his chest as the boy gifts him a sudden hug, when he gets lost in his smile or his face heats up after being praised by the younger?

Would people find it repulsive? Would they hate him?

_Would Soobin hate him?_

It kind of explained why he had been staring at the wall for almost half an hour, sitting cross-legged on his bed. 

Hours ago the team decided to go on live. They all missed their fans and, truth be told, being so close to the date they would make a comeback had everyone stressed out. Reassuring their fans seemed like the best stress reliever for everyone at moments like this. 

The problem was, Yeonjun was about to have a heart attack.

The five of them settled themselves among the sofa, three of them actually sitting on it and the rest sitting on the floor to be on frame. And _of_ _course_ Soobin had found a way to sneak in between Yeonjun's knees. 

Don't get the boy wrong, he loved it. And _that_ was the problem.

Lately, the younger had shown himself cuter and way more cuddly than usual. It was his nervous tick, Yeonjun knew. But that didn't make it less hard for him, because now he had Soobin touching him, reaching for Yeonjun's warmth every now and then and Yeonjun's skin literally ached to reach out and make the contact last longer. He really tried to keep it cool, convincing his brain that keeping his hands to himself while five hundred thousand of viewers were watching their broadcast was the smartest thing to do.

Not like his brain seemed to mind. Merely ten minutes had passed and the pair were already tangled up in each other's embrace. Yeonjun tried to be subtle, really. He would leave feather caress on the boy's back, pat his head slightly and fix his hair after Soobin had thrown himself to the floor, laughing so hard his throat started to feel dry. But then the oh so lovely boy would look back and meet his eyes, dark orbs shining too bright it's suffocating, light on his stare just for _his hyung_. The boy would take his arm, rest his hands on the blonde's thigh, subtle and delicate touches burning under his skin. Yeonjun swore if he weren't sit down he would have already hit the ground, legs feeling unnecessary weak at such sweet gestures. And no one could really blame him for turning his eyes into crecendent moons and his lips into the biggest smile, muscles in his face hurting from how long he was holding it. 

Not like he minded, too.

Well, he didn't mind just _until_ the broadcast ended. They practiced a bit more before heading home and once they had washed up Yeonjun locked himself in his bedroom, phone in hand to check how the vlive had turned out. He would be lying if he said the previous image of his hand over Soobin's face, gentle caresses squishing the younger's cheeks had once left his brain. How warm and welcoming his skin had felt and the way the muscles under his touch stretched into the most genuine smile. _Just for his hyung_.

Heat from embarrassment ran through Yeonjun's whole body as he watched what _he had done._ The way he looked at the younger could barely be read as platonic anymore. He felt tears building up in his eyes as he now watched the moment when he had just sat there and let Soobin throw himself once again over his legs, hiding his face between the palms of his hands from saying something embarrassing. He had looked at him so fondly, so painfully in love that Yeonjun felt he was intruding himself by rewinding and watching the moment a few more times.

That's how he got to the current position, turned off his phone and stared at the white wall until after what felt decades he heard two soft knocks on his door. He didn't wanted to see anyone, he just wanted to go to bed and hope that today was just a fever dream his brain has had the nerve to pull off.

Instead, he cleared his throat and straightened his back as he said 'Come in.'

As soon as those words left his mouth, the door cracked open enough to let a pink ball of dyed hair pop out. Soobin smiled at him, face tired and small smile on his lips as he slid into the room, closing the door behind him.

'Hi hyung' he greeted as he stopped in front of him, just like they didn't see each other less than an hour ago. Yeonjun glanced at him from his bed as he moved to make room for the younger.

Soobin sat at the edge of the bed, brows furrowed and pout forming on his lips as he stared at Yeonjun with big puppy eyes. Yeonjun's heart dropped to his stomach at the sight and he fought the urge to coo at him.

'Can I sleep here?'

It wasn't abnormal. Countless nights they'd sneak out of their respective rooms to cuddle with the other. This time though, Yeonjun was shifting nervously under the younger's gaze. He felt shy, so small, afraid. Because if he had noticed the way he looked at the taller, maybe the latter had noticed too. And if that was the case Yeonjun would be so damn screwed.

He hummed as he slid under the covers, inviting the boy to do the same while not really meeting his eyes. Soobin closed the space between their bodies, his body heat soon meeting Yeonjun's even through their pyjamas. The older's heart started to pound hard in the middle of his chest as Soobin placed his head just there, nose pressing down and breathing slowly into Yeonjun's t-shirt. He felt his whole body tense up, but not long after he relaxed and started to run a hand through the younger's hair, massaging his scalp during the process. Maybe he didn't notice it after all.

He hated feeling this calm yet this uncontrollably moved at the same time by such a domestic situation. He hated that his hand —not really unconsciously anymore— slid and was caressing the skin of Soobin's neck and ear. He hated the pleasing hums that skipped Soobin's mouth and hit directly against his aching chest. 

He hated that he was ready to give Soobin the world, because he thought the boy wouldn't want it, ~~_n_ _ ~~ot~~ from_ _him_~~. That the boy didn't love him the way he did. 

Honestly, it was almost fine to Yeonjun. The younger deserved someone as great, genuine and caring for him. He deserved to feel loved, to feel the prettiest, to feel calm and heal inside his lover's arms. And Yeonjun was okay if that wasn't him as long as other person would make Soobin feel the happiest.

Soobin interrupted his train of ~~destructive~~ thoughts as he slightly raised his head to lock eyes with him. 

'You know hyung', he breathed, stare suddenly hard as his dark orbs looked up at his. He gulped but stared back just as fiercely. Soobin licked this lips, the closeness of their faces letting his eyes notice how Yeonjun's had caught the movement. He let out a sigh 'I thought you were smarter than this'.

Yeonjun stopped breathing for what felt ages, the weight of his body becoming heavy cold stone under the phrase that escaped the boy's lips. He activated his internal alarm, panic taking over his thoughts as he was suddenly hit with what thought he meant. He gasped, opening and closing his mouth as his eyes felt glossy at the statement. Soobin knew he loved him

and was definitely repulsed by it.

'I am so sorry Soobin. I truly am.' Yeonjun breathed out. 'I-I understand if you...' he stopped. Eyes not really seeing clearly the boy in front of him. 'If you just hate me now a-and I-'

But just before he started hyperventilating, a delicate hand reached out and brushed his bangs out of his eyes, fingers caressing his forehead as his hot breath bumped into Yeonjun's face. Soobin closed his eyes and pressed both of their cheeks together, rubbing them in an affectionate way too overwhelming for Yeonjun's poor heart. He stopped and stared at the older, the hand that had been on his hair moving slowly to wipe the tears the boy below him didn't even know he was shedding. With their faces still painfully close, Soobin whispered 'Don't cry, my big baby'.

Yeonjun's hurt eyes turned into confused ones, heart wilding inside his ribcage and flood running hot and quickly through his whole system as Soobin started to pamper his face with kisses. Soobin took his time to kiss the older's damp eyelashes, his forehead, the tip of his nose, flushed cheeks and chin. Only then he opened his eyes, hot breath once again hitting Yeonjun's face as he gifted him the most lovingly smile just at him, just _for_ _his hyung_.

'I thought you were smarter and would notice it.' he breathed, the low lights from the room's dim lamp giving his face the most angelic look Yeonjun swore he had ever seen on the younger. He stayed silent, waiting for the other to continue, his brain shut down and unable to think of anything but the mole under Soobin's eye which looked at him so prettily. 'Would notice the way I laugh at everything you say, no matter if it's really funny or not' he caressed again the older's now drier cheeks, tracing the ghost of tears he just made disappear with his kisses. 'Would notice how I say some things just for you to start a little argument that would lead to us hugging and laughing all along' he smiled, eyes shining with something Yeonjun's knew too well. 'Would notice how I can't stay mad at you for more than one minute or how crazy I go after you look at me with those pretty eyes of yours' his fingers lowered from Yeonjun's cheeks to his pouty lips, eyes fixating on them.

'It's a shame, because if you had' he leaned closer, lips slightly brushing as he finished his sentence 'I could've done this sooner'

And just like that he landed his lips on Yeonjun's. And just then did Yeonjun realize that the boy he had been loving for quite a long time had been feeling the same towards him. He wasted no more time and moved his lips against Soobin's, savouring their taste as slow and careful as he was able to. Soobin's lips felt as soft and plump as a pillow and tasted sweeter than any candy he had ever brought to his mouth and it was driving Yeonjun insane. 

Only when Soobin pulled away and a trail of saliva left their lips connected for a mere second longer did Yeonjun dare to open his eyes. The flush on the younger's face and his swollen mouth sent shivers down his spine and he felt explosions inside his entire self. When they locked eyes this time, Yeonjun finally understood.

'I love you' he pecked the younger's lips, eyes glossy from feeling too much affection towards the boy.

Soobin giggled softly in between kisses and he put their foreheads together. 'I love you too.' He stated quietly but firmly. 'I love you with no empty spaces.' 

The so endearing shine he adored looked at him so fondly and Yeonjun knew it just existed because it was _him_ who Soobin was looking at.

He pulled him into his embrace, emotions so painfully heavy and complex inside his chest making it impossible to let him phrase anything coherent at the moment. Soobin inhaled the older's neck fresh scent as he hid on his crook. He felt his breathing slowly deepening against the skin of his neck, a hint that sleep finally won over Soobin's body and all Yeonjun knew was he was willing to give up everything for the boy between his arms.

And he now knew Soobin loved him just as helplessly.

**Author's Note:**

> hi!!! I hope you enjoyed <3 i wrote this mostly for myself as i really needed fluff. I was pleading, BEGGING for yeonbin content but i exploded right after yesterday's vlive. they really be out there being all cuddly right in front of my cereal. anyways,, let me know your opinion on this in the comments! stay safe<3


End file.
